Perfect Mess

"But by the grace of God I am What I am, and His Grace to me was not in vain"
I Corinthians 15:10

Remembering Sunsets

I caught a glimpse of the most beautiful sunset while coming across a bridge the other evening.  A billion bursts of light in brilliant pinks, orange, and purple carving out a one time masterpiece, a gift from God to His kids for those who were paying attention. As it reflected on the water, the small ripples sent shards of light drifting in every direction, a beautiful reminder of how His Light is ever moving, going forth and touching those to whom He sends it.

As I beheld this masterpiece, my heart ached for a time earlier in my walk with Christ when I tried to never miss a sunset.  As a new Christian, so new and still so in awe that the God of the universe loved me enough to talk to me, I looked for Him EVERYWHERE. And even though I often may have appeared foolish, I so often found Him.

A young mom at the time, I would grab my babies and head out to the sidewalk in our neighborhood and exclaim, “Look at that Sunset that Jesus painted just for us!”

Some days, it was brilliant, and somedays it was a bit hard to find due to cloud cover, yet even then, I knew He had a hidden message just for me within that elusive light.

I miss those days.

As I pondered back upon this time in my life, I wonder now, “does Jesus miss these days too?”

What changed?

When did I become too sophisticated in my faith to stop chasing Him in the sunsets?

I can’t pinpoint the moment the shift took place, but it seems that somewhere along the way my expectations shifted from simply seeking Him to more towards seeking how to please Him.

I can blame many teachings I listened to for this, but in truth, I let my own heart be drawn away.

It’s always easier to trust the seen than to expect to SEE the unseen.

It’s always easier to place our expectations in what we can do for Him, rather than seeking Him alone, and letting Him paint Who He is on us.

Like the worm that weasels it’s way out of the apple, somehow our flesh always finds a way to “add to” God, and in so doing, we destroy His masterpiece He is painting in us.

I am deep sorrow over how easily I have let myself be led astray from the simplicity that exists in child like faith.

Faith that expects everything because she knows she has nothing.

Faith that is FREE to enjoy everything and everyone because she knows it’s all a gift from her Father.

Faith in Jesus that has already overcome everything she is, and has ever done or will do so that she can already KNOW in advance that she already IS well pleasing in His sight.

” for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4

So, does this mean that I am going backwards?

By no means.

It means that instead of finding me striving for hours over bible passages and commentaries, you may just find me chasing sunsets and exclaiming, “thank-You, Jesus, for painting that one just for me.”

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